Men’s Partner Assault Response (PAR)

Men’s Partner Assault Response (PAR) program supports men in exploring, understanding, and changing the underlying beliefs and attitudes that lead to violence in relationships. 

Goals & Objectives: 

• Address the underlying beliefs and perspectives that lead to violence in relationships 
• Break the patterns of harm or violence in relationships 

Is This Program for Me? 

• You are male and 18 years of age or older; and 
• You have been charged related to violence or harm in your relationship.
  Referrals may be in the form of a peace bond, bail variation, early intervention agreement, probation order, or through a probation officer; or 
• You have recognized that you have caused harm or been violent in a relationship but have not been charged; or 
• You are interested in breaking the patterns of harm and violence in relationships. 

What We Offer: 

• A 12-session program that works to address the underlying beliefs and perspectives that lead to violence in relationships. 
• Sessions are 2 hours long and are cofacilitated by male and female facilitators. 
• Partner contact support to the current or former victims of the men enrolled.  

How Do I Get Connected? 

Referrals can be completed by probation officers or the Crown Attorney. Individuals can also self-refer if they do not have charges before the court.  

All program registration can be completed by calling the Men’s Program office at 519-372-2720 or by emailing Jon at [email protected]. 

Intakes are done over the phone, must be scheduled in advance, and last between 30 and 60 minutes.  

Is There a Cost for This Program? 

Yes. The fees vary on a sliding scale from $2 to $80 per session. Participants are responsible for paying each week, including sessions they miss.  

Is There a Waitlist for This Program? 

The men’s PAR program has a continuous intake. Waitlists change frequently and depend on referral numbers. Contact the program for up-to-date information. 

Locations and Times: 

• Mondays in Hanover from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. (425 10th Street, Hanover, Ontario) 
• Tuesdays or Thursdays in Owen Sound from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. (1026 2nd Ave. East, Owen Sound, Ontario) 

Individual sessions are available in extenuating circumstances. Groups do not run on statutory holidays.

Additional Resources:

The themes in PAR sessions are drawn from the Power and Control Wheel and Equality Wheel.

Feelings can be hard to talk name and even harder to talk about. Identifying them is the first step. This feelings wheel  can help give you the language you need.

Anger is a powerful emotion that can be destructive. Here’s a resource to show how anger is often the tip of an iceberg of other feelings.

Managing the things that trigger our emotions is also important. Here’s an exercise to make that easier.

Our actions are the outer product of our inner thoughts and feelings. This triangle model   – borrowed from cognitive behavioural therapy – is a great tool to explain the relationship between them, and how we can interrupt the process when we’re in a negative cycle.

Developing healthy coping skills is important if you want to break negative cycles. This handout explores positive alternatives.

Accountability is essential for healthy relationships. Here’s a resource about how to apologize.

This resource uses baseball to explain the bases we need to cover for accountability.

PAR also assumes that our core beliefs shape our actions. Check out this explanation of core beliefs.

Check out this collection of Ted Talks about how and why masculinity is changing: https://www.ted.com/playlists/404/how_masculinity_is_evolving

If you’re interested in taking a deep dive into these issues and personal change, there is a book call Becoming Allies that thoroughly explores the issues of men’s violence in relationships and supports men in making positive changes. It’s available as an audiobook as well and the website has additional resources.

Homework:

Weekly reflections are part of the program. You can find weekly homework / reflections below organized by the themes of the sessions.

1. Violence & Non-Violence
   1. Power and Control Wheel Reflection
   2. Equality Wheel Reflection
   3. Reflection on Violence
   4. Anger Ladder 2.0
2. Respect & Emotional Abuse
   1. Reflection on Respect
   2. Action Plan Towards Respect
3. Non-threatening Behaviour & Intimidation
   1. Reflection on Intimidation
4. Negotiation and Fairness & Coercion and Threats
   1. Reflection on Negotiation and Fairness
   2. On Negotiation
5. Trust and Support & Isolation
   1. Reflection on Trust and Support
6. Honesty, Responsibility, and Accountability & Minimization, Denial, and Blame
   1. Reflection on Honesty, Responsibility, and Accountability
   2. Reflection on Minimization, Denial and Blame
   3. Practicing HRA
      1. Accountability Letter guide
      2. Accountability letter
7. Partnership and Responsible Parenting &  Male Privilege
   1. Reflection on gender norms
8. Sexual Respect & Sexual Abuse
   1. Reflection on Sexual Respect and Disrespect